19 Year Soberversary: But for the Grace of God

My mom was the oldest of seven children.

My dad was an only child.

Growing up, I only knew one grandfather-Lee Zwiebel. "Zwiebel" means onion in German. So yes, that's us-the onion people.

My grandfather was an amazing man, and so fun to be around. Every once in a while, when we were together for a family dinner, he would pour himself a cup of coffee, take us into the living room, and bring out something ancient: a photo album! We'd sit together and turn the thick, worn pages.

There were pictures of him as a boy, snapshots of him as a pilot and aeronautical engineer during World War II, photos of when he met my grandmother, and of my mom as a little girl. The albums included pictures of weddings, vacations, and graduations. To some, these were pictures of ordinary moments, but to us, they were treasured memories.

Those evenings became more for me. They gave me identity. Those pictures answered questions like: How did I get here? To whom do I belong? Who are my ancestors? And maybe most importantly: what am I capable of? I longed to know my identity and I craved a purpose...


My Addiction Story

Most of you know the details of my story. I overdosed three times. I became a convicted felon. I lost everything. Being a slave to addiction is like reliving the worst day of your life over and over again. Overdosing. Prison. Homelessness. Hunger. Physical sickness. Destroying the lives of people you love. 

But one day, in a jail cell in 2006, my identity changed in one moment.

It was there, sitting alone and addicted to heroin, that I heard the Gospel. I fully realized that God sent His only Son to take the death I deserved, and that He was raised from the dead, defeating death, and making complete transformation and forgiveness of sins possible.

Instantly, I became part of a new family. I became a child of God – holy and blameless in His sight! And not only that: God has given me unbelievable purpose and meaning in my life. It's all God, He gets the glory. He saved my life and now I serve Him!

Saul Becomes Paul

As our church has been studying Corinthians, I keep coming back to 1 Corinthians 15. It's one of the most powerful chapters ever written. In it, the Apostle Paul says, "By the grace of God I am what I am."

Paul knew something about transformation. Before Jesus gave him a new identity, he went by the name of Saul, and was a man who persecuted Christians, and even approved of their deaths. On the road to Damascus, Jesus met him in a blinding light and changed everything (Acts 9). Saul couldn't change his past. He couldn't undo the harm he had caused. But by the grace of God, he became a new man.

Paul called himself the chief of sinners. The closer he walked with the Lord, the more aware he became of his need for grace. And isn’t that true for us? It’s because we can’t walk with a holy God and not see the depth of the ugliness of our sin.

That's why testimonies matter.

Paul shared his story not to glorify his past, but to magnify God's grace. If you ask me, one of the strongest pieces of evidence for the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is a transformed life! You can't receive the grace of God and remain unchanged. And that’s exactly what happened to me.


So why do I retell my story and mark another year of sobriety?

Just like my grandfather's photo albums, a testimony reminds us where we came from and who we belong to now. It reminds us of who we used to be, and how the Gospel changed us into a new creation. And that changes how we live each day!

I thank God for freeing me from addiction 19 years ago. I thank Him for restoring my relationships, for giving me a beautiful family, for blessing this ministry, and giving us a church family. Forever I’ll be grateful for this identity transformation! By the grace of God, I am what I am.


Do You Know Someone Stuck in Addiction?

If you know someone struggling with addiction, please hear this: transformation is possible. There is hope. There is freedom. Recovery as a disciple of Jesus is about daily surrender. I still do certain things every day to make sure I never go back-studying God's Word, loving others, praying with thanksgiving.

Here’s what YOU can do:

  • Share this story with someone who needs hope.

  • Pray for those still trapped in addiction. Pray that God would continue to use transformed lives to shine His light into the darkest places.

  • Support Greenhouse Recovery. It costs about $700 per month per person to provide food, shelter, and discipleship. Every gift makes a difference.

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